Bagels aren’t just breakfast food—they’re a lifestyle. Whether you like them plain, toasted, loaded with cream cheese, or stacked high with toppings, there’s no denying that bagels bring comfort and comedy. And when you mix the chewy magic of bagels with wordplay, you get something that’s absolutely hole-some.
From Instagram captions to quirky wedding hashtags, bagel puns are perfect for sharing laughs with your friends, family, or that special someone you want to butter up. So grab a coffee, schmear on some cream cheese, and let’s roll through 176 of the most hilarious bagel puns you’ve ever seen.
🥯 Did You Know?
New York is often called the bagel capital of the world, but Montreal claims its bagels are better—sweeter, thinner, and baked in wood-fired ovens. Some say that’s the “hole truth.”
176+ Bagel Puns That Are Hole-somely Hilarious
Let’s rise and shine with a basket of fresh wordplay!
1. The Rise of Bagel Puns: A Yeasty Development
- I’m on a roll, or maybe just a bagel.
- Bagels are just donuts who went to college.
- I knead you like cream cheese needs a bagel.
- Life is butter with bagels.
- Bagel dreams are never half-baked.
- Feeling hole again with my bagel.
- The yeast I can do is share this pun.
- Bagels rise to every occasion.
- Don’t be sourdough, be a bagel.
- Bagels are my daily breadwinner.
- Bagels are wheely good.
- I loaf bagels more than bread.
- Bagels: the circle of loaf.
- You’re bake-ing me crazy.
- Some people crack jokes, I just crack bagels.
- Bagels are proof that life kneads humor.
- Bagels rise and shine brighter than croissants.
- I’m in knead of bagel support.
- Don’t be crusty, grab a bagel.
- Bagels prove that holes make us whole.
2. Hole-y Grail of Breakfast: Best Bagel Puns
- This is the hole truth and nothing but.
- You’re un-bagel-ievable.
- Hole lotta love for bagels.
- In one hole swoop, breakfast is served.
- Bagels are a hole mood.
- Hole me closer, tiny bagel.
- Life feels empty without a hole.
- Hole-heartedly in love with bagels.
- The hole enchilada? No, the hole bagel.
- You complete me, hole and all.
- Bagels: filling my emotional holes.
- Hole-y smokes, that’s tasty.
- Breakfast goals = bagel with schmear.
- Love you with my whole bagel heart.
- Don’t dig a hole, eat one.
- Hole-y guacamole on a bagel.
- Bagel holes > donut holes.
- Living my hole truth.
- It’s not a phase, it’s a hole lifestyle.
- Hole in one: toasted sesame.
3. Spreading the Love: Cream Cheese and Bagel Jokes
- You’re the schmear to my bagel.
- Spread love, not calories.
- Bagels without cream cheese? That’s un-spreadable.
- Our love is cheesy, but hole-some.
- Keep calm and spread on.
- Schmear happiness wherever you go.
- Bagel without cream cheese is just loafing around.
- You make my heart melt like cream cheese.
- Spread goals = cream cheese perfection.
- Too much schmear? That’s not a thing.
- Cream cheese: bagel’s soulmate.
- Bagels are vessels of spread-joy.
- Schmear genius at work.
- A day without cream cheese is un-brie-lievable.
- Spread the laughter, one bagel at a time.
- Bagels bring me out of my shell.
- Bagels + cream cheese = hole package.
- Spread thin, but still smiling.
- Bagels don’t crumble under pressure, they schmear.
- Love at first spread.
4. Everything Bagel Puns: A Topping for Every Taste
- Everything I dough, I dough for bagels.
- You’re my everything (bagel).
- Everything’s better with sesame.
- Onion you glad we found bagels?
- Salt bae? More like salt bagel.
- Garlic you forever, bagel.
- I’m poppy for you.
- Jalapeño bagel is my spicy side.
- Everything’s under bagel control.
- Sprinkle joy like sesame seeds.
- Seasoned for success, topped with love.
- Everything is bagel-ievable.
- Life’s too short for plain bagels.
- The topping point of happiness.
- Bagels season my soul.
- Everything you knead, in one bite.
- Bagel toppings are endless possibilities.
- A pinch of sesame, a dash of joy.
- Onion my way to bagel paradise.
- The salt of the earth is baked into bagels.
5. Dough Not Laugh: Puns That Will Make You Crusty
- Dough you see me rolling?
- I crust you completely.
- Bagels crust and busted.
- In crust we trust.
- Dough you want another pun?
- Bagels crust-ed my expectations.
- You’re crust-tacular.
- Never crust a hungry person.
- Crust and found in the bakery aisle.
- Bagels keep me from going stale.
- Don’t crust appearances, love bagels.
- Rise and crust, it’s bagel time.
- Crust over me with love.
- Stuck in a crust-love triangle.
- Bagels crust be the answer.
- Dough way I’m sharing my bagel.
- Crust in case of emergency: bagel.
- I’m dough-lighted to meet you.
- Bagels crust into my life.
- Trust the crust, love the bagel.
6. Sesame Seed Giggles: Bagel Puns That Stick
- Seeds the day with a bagel.
- Sesame to heaven.
- Bagels with seeds = sprinkled joy.
- Stick with me, bagel buddy.
- Seeds of love baked right in.
- A seed-sational morning.
- Bagel toppings stick around.
- Sprinkled with laughter.
- Seeds my soul with happiness.
- Bagels are seed-ductive.
- Stick it to hunger with bagels.
- Seedy jokes only.
- Seeds the opportunity for bagels.
- My bagel addiction is deeply rooted.
- Bagels are plant-based if you count sesame.
- A seeded bagel never disappoints.
- Sprout joy, eat bagels.
- Stick together like seeds and dough.
- Bagels seed me through tough days.
- Happiness is sesame on a bagel.
7. A Batch Made in Heaven: Wedding and Love-Themed Bagel Puns
- We’re a batch made in heaven.
- Let’s get bready to tie the knot.
- Love you dough much.
- You’re my butter half.
- Forever and oven.
- Wedded and well-bread.
- Our loaf story is complete.
- I knead you forever.
- Happily ever aftertaste.
- You make my heart roll.
- Till crust do us part.
- Our love is rising.
- Bagels sealed with a schmear.
- Two halves of the same bagel.
- Let’s dough this together.
- Love you from my head to my bagel.
- Our love is un-bagel-ievable.
- A toast to forever.
- No buns about it, you’re the one.
- Always baked into my heart.
FAQs:
1. What are bagel puns?
Bagel puns are wordplays based on bagels, toppings, or baking terms that make everyday conversations funnier.
2. Can I use bagel puns for Instagram captions?
Absolutely! They’re perfect for foodie pics, breakfast snaps, and funny wedding hashtags.
3. What makes bagels so pun-worthy?
Their shape (the hole), toppings, and connection to bread make them naturally funny for wordplay.
4. Are bagel puns family-friendly?
Yes! All of these are clean, clever, and great for all ages.
5. Where can I use bagel jokes besides social media?
They’re great for greeting cards, café menus, party invites, or even quirky business branding.
Conclusion:
Bagels are the breakfast heroes we didn’t know we kneaded, and puns about them?
Well, that’s just the schmear on top. Whether you’re sprinkling humor on your Instagram captions, buttering up your crush with a cheesy line, or just trying to fill the hole in your day with laughter, these bagel puns are here to rise to the occasion.
🥯 Now it’s your turn—don’t be crusty, share your favorite pun below or tag a friend who’s your butter half!
Jhon is the author and creator of Punssmile, where clever puns and light-hearted humor come together to spread smiles. He enjoys crafting simple, clean, and playful content that makes everyday moments more fun.
